i live vicariously through music.
i just can't help it. i think as part of my exercise routine i will try to learn to dance.. better. that's a fun way to add extra cardio i suppose. ugh. i feel so chunky, disgusting, etc. but then again, i went to get new pants the other night with my mom.. and i have no clue what size i am, since i think that i gained weight recently. sooo, here i am, grabbing pants that are size 8, 10, etc, sizes i have NEVER been but of course i am WAAAY too scared to grab pants that could be too small.. not sure if i'm the only one that gets extremely depressed when something doesn't fit. i was trying to avoid that this time, i'm already so upset over my weight.. boo hoo. so then i go in to try the pants on and the size 8 and 10 wouldn't even stay on, they were too big for me which was super exciting. then i tried on the size 4 that i had grabbed just in case and it fitttt! perfectly at the waist, the rest/ legs are too big but whatever. and my mom's telling me how i'm tiny, ladeedah, but i'm just excited to have even fit into a 4. so that's my story of the day.... i just want to be skinny. thin. anything that makes me become invisible.
THANK YOU for all the comments on my previous post, definitely overwhelming! you guys are awesome, thanks for all the advice. i'm going to try and research the components of these different medications and look into an over the counter product that i could possibly extract whatever the medical ingredient is from. rather than go through getting a prescription... i'm so scared of doctors, which is stupid since i'm a nurse, haha! oh well. if all else fails i will just go in to see a doctor and work at getting something, or else potentially try something on the street.
my birthday party is coming up in a couple of weeks, what do you guys think i should do? i'm considering doing some 'dancing drugs', i know everyone's gonna say don't do this, blah blah, but i mean really... have you guys never done them? i'm so curious. i just want to be free from my mind for a short period of time, i promise(: .
lots more to post but i have to go get ready for work now, boo hoo. i hope ya'll comment on my post ! i really, really loved reading what people had sent in last time, gave me alot to think about.
OH, one last question - PLEASE respond to this if no others! - what exercise or routine do you guys find to be most effective? like, should i focus on cardio, ab workout, jogging/ walking/ that type of cardio, a program like zumba/ yoga/ P90X/ insanity, etc? what's best? please help, would be sooo appreciated! (:
xoxo

Chatboard (3)